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  • Nobody Beside You.

    Have you all heard the new Elevation Worship album? It came out one week ago. 

    It. Is. Amazing.

    I have never been to this church, but their worship has been strength to my body and food for my faith the last few years. You can preview and buy it here, or you can listen for free here by signing up for a free account {which is what Ryan and I have}. 

    I went through one of the darkest times in my life about two years ago. I quit my job {that I loved} because I had slowly and unknowingly developed a relationship there in the hospital that was becoming a threat, a temptation with the potential to kill, my faith and marriage. I had to seperate myself from the situation that would have only led to sin. "It's what is best for Ryan and I at this time" is what I told my coworkers, my close friends whom I had come to love over the previous four years. It was heart breaking, but God met me there--in my repentance, in my obedience, in my heart break, in my sobbing, and in my worship.

    My coworkers had welcomed me with open arms in the beginning as a travel nurse, which doesn't always happen.

    They watched me marry the man of my dreams. 
    They asked me to stay when my travel nurse contract was about to expire. 
    They rejoiced with me when Ryan and I got pregnant.


    They mourned with me when I miscarried.
    They rejoiced with us again during the first 10 weeks of our second pregnancy.
    And then wept with us again when no heartbeat was found in that baby either.

    Me in the hospital when I found out I miscarried--trying to keep hope alive, that His love was stronger.

    It was right after I found out I was pregnant with our third baby--we had heard a heartbeat and I was even starting to show--that I had to resign. They didn't fully understand why; I wanted to protect the privacy of myself and the person involved, so I left as quietly as I could. I remember one of my girl friends saying, "But you can't leave now--we have been through so much together. You're finally pregnant again!"

    When you weather the storms together, you want enjoy the sunshine that follows together. 

    During my last two weeks after I turned in my resignation, I wept during every shift that I had to tell people I was leaving {as a nurse, you don't see all of your coworkers every shift}. I would listen to this song by Elevation on repeat for the entire thirty minutes it took to get to work. Here are the lyrics to Give Me Faith: 

    I need You to soften my heart
    To break me apart
    I need You to open my eyes
    To see that You're shaping my life

    All I am, I surrender

    Give me faith to trust what You say 
    That You're good and your love is great
    I'm broken inside, I give you my life

    I need you to soften my heart
    To break me apart
    I need you to pierce through the dark
    And cleanse every part of me

    Those lyrics held me up. God strengthened me to do what I had to do through them. I chose to trust Him though I had no idea how I would go on. I often sobbed while singing them.

    He softened my heart. He broke me apart. He opened my eyes and showed me His plan.

    He gave me faith to believe Him. He is so good and His love is so great.

    He pierced through my darkness and cleansed every part of me. I am new, I am whole, I am clean, I am free.  

    It's been almost two years since I fled that yucky situation to protect myself and Elevation's worship is rocking my world again. Only this time I am in a completely different life stage. 

    He has PROVEN Himself faithful. My marriage is stronger than it ever has been. He has BLESSED us tremendously. We have a healthy daughter who smiles, eats and sleeps like she may not get another opportunity.

    He has REVEALED Himself to me in His Word. For what more can I ask?

    All the worries of this world, I will lay them at Your feet 
    Surrender every anxious thought for perfect peace, your perfect peace

    All the loved ones I hold dear, All my hopes and dreams and all my fears
    I will choose to trust Your name in everything, with everything 

    I will look up for there is none above You
    I will bow down to tell you that I need You 
    Jesus Lord of all, Jesus Lord of all

    I will take You at your Word, For Jesus You have taken hold of me
    All of my life is in your hands
    You are my strength, You are my strength

    I will look back and see that You are faithful
    I look ahead believing You are able
    Jesus Lord of all, Jesus Lord of all 

    {I will Look Up, Elevation Worship}

    Two years ago, I wept and did not think I could go on.

    Today, I danced around my kitchen with Aila giggling in my arms, singing all the wrong words to Glory Is Yours because, though I have heard them and it SHOOK my foundation, I'm still learning the lyrics. 

    Oh God, the glory is Yours, the kingdom is come and the battle is over
    Jesus in Your name we rise, And the glory is Yours, the glory is Yours

    Nobody beside You
    There has never been anyone, anything like You 
    There has never been ANYONE, anything like You  
    There has never been anyone, ANYTHING like You 
    THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ANYONE, ANYTHING like YOU!

    Nobody beside You
    There will never be anyone, anything like You 
    There will never be ANYONE, anything like You  
    There will never be anyone, ANYTHING like You 
    THERE WILL NEVER BE ANYONE, ANYTHING like YOU!

    Don't just read those words, you have to listen to them--make sure you do. What an anthem, a declaration, a celebration. He has proven Himself to be EVERYTHING to me, everything I could ever possible need. If I need guidance, He is that. If I need peace, He is that. If I need comfort, He is that too. He is all powerful, all-mighty, ever-loving and an ever-constant help. He has caused me to rise, as that last song stated; He has lifted me up out of my pit and caused me to rise and walk again.. and the glory is HIS!

    He will answer every question you have and meet your every need if you ask Him. And the Glory is His, for God, there is nobody beside You.